Growing up, I was always overweight compared to other kids my age, and it was common for me to be teased because of it. Luckily, at home, my family supported me by not only complimenting my intelligence but also by telling me how “cute” I was. It was the outside world that often made me feel like I was different.
When you’re a child, you tend to believe what you’re told, which is why I always experienced mixed emotions about my appearance. On the one hand, my parents and other family members praised my appearance, but at school or when playing with kids in the neighborhood, I was teased. And as a kid, I only heard the term “bullying” being used when a bigger kid was attempting to physically harm a smaller kid. At that time, playground teasing was not considered bullying, and to a certain extent, teasing was deemed “normal.”
Many years passed before I began to view my body in a positive light. Fortunately, the people whose opinions mattered the most—my family—ultimately helped me develop a positive body image.
The Comment That Changed My Perception
I remember walking to junior high one day with my brother and a couple of other kids. Because I grew up being self-conscious about my body, I would hardly ever wear shorts—and I never wore skirts. The reason? I was ashamed of my legs. Specifically, my thighs and calves.
On this particular walk to school, my brother was trailing behind me and made a comment that completely changed the way I perceived my body. “Dang, your calves are muscular!” he exclaimed. I thought, “Muscular? You don’t mean fat?” Growing up in a family of athletes, I believed having muscles was admirable, and I therefore greatly admired people who were muscular. With those words, my perception of my calves was forever changed.
From there, I started to view my entire body differently, including my thighs. I began to think, “My thighs are not small, but they have a nice shape to them.” It was then that I started appreciating my body in a way I never had before.
“The truth is, the real work starts in your mind.”
Learn to Love Your Body
These are some of the ways in which I took control of my body image, even during my lowest points.
1. Believe that you can create a body you love.
The truth is, the real work starts in your mind. You must change what you believe about your body, let go of any negative beliefs, and learn how to turn negatives into positives.
I can say with certainty that the reason bodybuilding has made me more confident is because it has helped me truly appreciate what my body is capable of. I previously possessed limiting beliefs that kept me from discovering my body could do so much more than I knew. I didn’t believe that I could sculpt my body, let alone become a competitive professional bodybuilder. But after I started competing, I began telling myself a different story. I came to realize there was more inside of me that was waiting to emerge. And all I had to do was believe it.
2. Identify and celebrate a positive physical attribute.
Even if you aren’t completely satisfied with the way you look, there will more than likely be something aesthetic about you that you like, admire, or find attractive. You may have nice hair, eyes, or lips, beautiful skin, or high cheekbones. One of the ways you can begin to love and appreciate the way you look is to determine what it is you like about yourself, no matter how small or insignificant it is.
If you have a negative body image, a great first step is to identify a body part that you do like. Speak to that body part and tell it how beautiful it is! While this may seem bizarre, speaking positively to yourself will over time help you change your mindset and perception of other parts of your body as well.
“I previously possessed limiting beliefs that kept me from discovering my body could do so much more than I knew.”
3. Don’t compare yourself to others.
We live in a world that’s driven by imagery, and we often end up comparing ourselves to what we see on TV and social media. Remember, though, that most of these pics are airbrushed or otherwise filtered and altered—they are not a true depiction of the person portrayed. The people we see in images often look “perfect,” but there’s no such thing.
In the past, I’ve been guilty of comparing myself to images on Instagram—I never considered that what’s posted is often a mirage. Now that I have learned to give myself grace and appreciate my imperfections, my life has become more enjoyable and fulfilling.
4. Reframe your story—and your surroundings.
What is the “body story” you’ve been telling yourself? If it’s negative, ask why you have this cynical perception of your body. Once you identify the “why,” find the positive, and then tell yourself that this positive aspect is your truth. As simple as this seems, the more you speak positively to yourself, the more you will start to believe it. And as your belief grows, your appreciation for your body will follow.
It’s also important to surround yourself with people who don’t engage in negative self-talk. You need to be around others who see the good in themselves, because they are more likely to bring out the good in you. Having an encouraging and positive support system is a great way to help you stay on course throughout your journey to body acceptance—and eventually, to true body love.
Written By Nicole Lewis, Attorney, Certified Personal Trainer, Head Coach OrangeTheory Fitness (Emeryville, CA)
Photography by Paul Buceta
Hair & Makeup by Monica Kalra
